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مصنف موضوع: Ek Zameen, Teen Shaa,i'r: "Ghalib", "Dagh" aur "Amir" Minai  (پڑھا گیا 5601 بار)

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Ek Zameen, Teen Shaa,i'r: "Ghalib", "Dagh" aur "Amir" Minai
« بروز: ستمبر 17, 2007, 05:03:07 شام »
Ek Zameen,Teen Shaa,i'r: "Ghalib", "Dagh" aur "Amir" Minai
Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"

ham sab Mirza "Ghalib" kee mash,hoor Ghazal "yeh neh thee hamaaree qismat, keh wiSaal-e-yaar hotaa" se baKhoobee waaqif haiN. nah Sirf is ko saikRoN jagah paRh chuke haiN bal.k kitne hee guloo-kaaroN ne apnee aawaaz ke jaadoo se is ko jaawidaaN banaa diyaa hai. yeh Ghazal apne zamaaneh meN bhee nihaayat maqbool huyee thee. "Amir" Minai ke shaagird Mumtaz Ali "Aah" ne apnee kitaab :Seerat-e-Amir Ahmad "Amir" Minai: meN likhaa hai keh :go Mirza kaa kalaam jin anmol jawaahar se maalaamaal hai un ke saamne yeh Ghazal kuchh ziyaadah aab-o-taab naheeN rakhtee, magar is kaa bohat charcahaa aur shuhrat thee:. "Amir" Minai us zamaaneh meN (lag-bhag 1860 meN) Nawab Yousuf Ali Khan "Nazim" waalee-e-Rampur ke darbaar se munsalik the. Nawab SaaHeb kee farmaa,ish par is zameen meN unhoN ne bhee ek Ghazal kahee thee jo :Ghazal-1: le teHt neeche dee gayee hai. "Amir" Minai bohat bisyaar-go the (ya'nee lambee lambee GhazleN likhaa karte the). unhoN ne isee zameen meN ek aur Ghazal bhee kahee thee jo yahaaN :Ghazal-2: ke naam se dee jaa rahee hai. Mirza "Dagh" ne bhee Nawab Rampur kee farmaa,ish par isee zameen meN Ghazal kahee thee. woh bhee pesh-e-Khidmat hai! ummeed hai keh yeh peshkash aap ko pasand aaYe gee.

************************** 
   
Mirz Asadullah Khan "Ghalib"

yeh nah thee hamaaree qismat keh wiSaal-e-yaar hotaa
agar aur jeete rehte, yehee intiz^aar hotaa!

tir wa'deh par jiYe ham to yeh jaan jhooT jaanaa
keh Khushee se mar nah jaate agar e'tibaar hotaa?

tiree naazukee se jaanaa keh baNdhaa thaa e'hd boodaa
kabhee to nah toR saktaa agar ustawaar hotaa

koyee mere dil se poochhe tire teer-e-neemkash ko
yeh Khalish kahaaN se hotee jo jigar ke paar hotaa?

yeh kahaaN kee dostee hai keh bane haiN dost naaSeH
koyee chaarah-saaz hotaa, koyee Gham-gusaar hotaa!

rag-e-saNg se Tapaktaa woh lahoo keh phir nah thamtaa
jise Gham samajh rahe ho woh agar sharaar hotaa

Gham agar-cheh jaaN-gusil hai, peh kahaaN bacheN ke dil hai
Gham-e-i'shq gar nah hotaa, Gham-e-rozgaar hotaa!

kahooN kis se maiN keh kyaa hai, shab-e-Gham buree balaa hai
mujhe kyaa buraa thaa marnaa agar ek baar hotaa!

huwe mar ke ham jo ruswaa, huwe kyoN nah Gharq-e-daryaa
nah kabhee janaazah uThtaa, nah kaheeN mazaar hotaa!

use kaun dekh saktaa keh yagaanah hai woh yaktaa
jo du,ee kee boo bhee hotee to kaheeN do-chaar hotaa!

yeh masaa,il-e-taSawwuf, yeh tiraa bayaan "Ghalib"
tujhe ham walee samajhte jo nah baadah-Khwaar hotaa!

************************

Nawab Mirza Khan "Dagh" Dehlavi

a'jab apnaa Haal hotaa jo wiSaal-e-yaar hotaa
kabhee jaan Sadqe hotee kabhee dil nicaar hotaa!

koyee fitnah taa-qiyaamat nah phir aashkaar hotaa
tire dil peh kaash z^aalim mujhe iKhtiyaar hotaa!

jo tumhaaree t^araH tum se koyee jhooTe wa'de kartaa
tumheeN munSifee se keh do, tumheN e'tibaar hotaa/

Gham-e-i'shq meN mazaa thaa jo use samajh ke khaate
yeh woh zehr hai keh aaKhir mai-e-Khushgawaar hotaa

nah mazaa hai dushmanee meN, nah hee lut^f dostee meN
koyee Ghair Ghair hotaa, koyee yaar yaar hotaa!

yeh mazaa thaa dil-lagee kaa keh baraabar aag lagtee
maj tujhe qaraar hotaa, nah mujhe qaraar hotaa

tire wa'deh par sitamgar! abhee aur Sabr karte
agar apnee zindagee kaa hameN e'tibaar hotaa

yeh woh dard-e-dil naheeN hai keh ho chaarah-saaz koyee
agar ek baar miTtaa to hazaar baar hotaa

gaYe hosh tere zaahid! jo woh chashm-e-mast dekhee
mujhe kyaa ulaT nah detee jo nah baadah-Khwaar hotaa?

mujhe maante sab aisaa keh u'doo bhee sajdah karte
dar-e-yaar Ka'bah bantaa jo miraa mazaar hotaa

tumheN naaz ho nah kyoN kar keh liyaa hai "Dagh" kaa dil
yeh raqam nah haath lagtee, nah yeh iftiKhaar hotaa!

***********************

Amir Ahmad "Amir" Minai

Ghazal-1

mire bas meN yaa to yaa Rab! wo sitam-shi,a'ar hotaa
yeh nah thaa to kaash dil par mujhe iKhtiyaar hotaa!

pas-e-marg kaash yooN hee mujhe waSl-e-yaar hotaa
woh sar-e-mazaar hotaa, maiN tah-e-mazaar hotaa!

tiraa maikadah salaamat, tire Khum kee Khair saaqee!
mira nashshah kyoN utartaa mujhe kyoN Khumaar hotaa?

mire ittiqaa kaa baa,ic to hai meree naa-tawaanee
jo maiN taubah toR saktaa to sharaab-Khwaar hotaa!

maiN hooN naa-muraad aisaa keh bilak ke yaas rotee
kaheeN paa ke aasraa kuchh jo umeed-waar hotaa

naheeN poochhtaa hai mujh ko koyee phool is chaman meN
dil-e-daaGhdaar hotaa to gale kaa haar hotaa

woh mazaa diyaa taRap ne keh yeh aarzoo hai yaa Rab!
mire donoN pehlu,oN meN dil-e-beqaraar hotaa!

dam-e-naza' bhee jo woh but mujhe aa ke muNh dikhaataa
to Khudaa ke muNh se itnaa nah maiN sharmsaar hotaa

nah malak sawaal karte, nah laHad fishaar detee
sar-e-raah-e-koo-e-qaatil jo miraa mazaar hotaa

jo nigaah kee thee z^aalik to phir aaNkh kyoN churaayee?
wohee teer kyoN nah maaraa jo jigar ke paar hotaa

maiN zabaaN se tum ko sachchaa kaho laakh baar keh dooN
usy kyaa karooN keh dil ko naheeN e'tibaar hotaa

miree Khaak bhee laHad miN nah rahee "Amir" baaqee
unheN marne hee kaa ab tak naheeN e'tibaar hotaa!

************************
Ghazal-2

nayee choTeN chalteeN, qaatil jo kabhee do-chaar hotaa
keh udhar se waar hotaa to idhar se waar hotaa

tire a'ks kaa jo qaatil! kabhee tujh peh waar hotaa
to nicaar hone waalaa yehee jaaN-nicaar hotaa

rahee aarzoo keh do-do tire teer saath chalte
koyee dil ko pyaar kartaa, koyee dil ke paar hotaa

tire naawak-e-adaa se kabhee haartaa nah himmat
jigar us se aage hotaa jo jigar ke paar hotaa

mire dil ko yooN miTaayaa keh nishaan tak nah rakkhaa
maiN lipaT ke ro to letaa jo kaheeN mazaar hotaa!

tire teer kee Khat^aa kyaa, miree HasratoN ne rokaa
nah lipaTtee yeh balaaYeN to woh dil ke paar hotaa

maiN jiyooN to kis kaa ho kar naheeN koyee dost meraa
yeh jo dil hai dushman-e-jaaN yehee dostdaar hotaa

mire phooloN meN jo aate to naYe woh gul khilaate
keh kalaa,iyoN meN gajre to gale meN haar hotaa

tire nannhe dil ko kyoN kar miree jaan maiN dikhaataa
woh dhaRakne kyaa nah lagtaa jo maiN beqaraar hotaa?

miraa dil jigar jo dekhaa to adaa se naaz bolaa
yeh tiras shikaar hotaa, woh miraa shikaar hotaa

sar-e-qabr aate ho tum jo baRhaa ke apnaa gehnaa
koyee phool chheen letaa jo gale kaa haar hotaa

dam-e-ruKhSat un kaa kehnaa keh yeh kaahe kaa hai ronaa?
tumheN meree qasmoN kaa bhee naheeN e'tibaar hotaa?

maiN nicaar tujh peh hotaa to raqeeb jaan khotaa
maiN tiraa shikaar hotaa, woh miraa shikaar hotaa

shab-e-waSl too jo beKhudh no huwaa "Amir" chookaa
tire aane kaa kabhee to use intiz^aar hotaa

************************
« آخری ترمیم: ستمبر 21, 2007, 11:33:45 شام منجانب Sarwar A. Raz »



غیرحاضر Muzaffar Ahmad Muzaffar

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Re: Ek Zameen, Teen Shaa,i'r: "Ghalib", "Dagh" aur "Amir" Minai
« Reply #1 بروز: ستمبر 18, 2007, 10:10:53 صبح »
moHtaram Sarwar A'lam Raz Sarwar SaaHib aadaab! :)

Aek zameen teen shaae'ir "Ghalib", "Dagh" aur "Amir" Minai khub rahe lekin kiyaa hee achchaa hotaa keh aap kee jaanib se bhee aek numunah-e-Ghazal a't^aa hotaa. aap a'Sr-e-HaaZ^ir ke jaane maane naabGhah-e-rooZGaar haiN. aor fan-e-shaae'iree meN "yad-e-t^olaa" rakhte haiN. agar aap ke asha'aar bhee shaamil ho jate to tab chaar shaae'ir ho jate aor tab ham kuch faeSlah karte keh kaon behtar raha.

GharZ^ yeh zameen bohot mashhoor hoee. aor chand Ghaer ma'aroof shua'raa ne bhee is zameen meN khoob GhooRe daorae haiN. Ghazliyaat ke yeh numune dekh kar chand she'er mujh se bhee ho gae haiN. inshAllah jald hee pesh karooN gaa. tab tak aap ke asha'aar kaa shiddat se intez^aar rahe gaa. maiN taqaabulee fiZ^aa naheeN paedah karnaa chahtaa. lekin "har Gul-e-raa ranG-o-bu-e-deegar ast" ka naqshah dekhne kaa mutamannee Z^aroor hooN. deegar dost bhee t^aba' aazmaa kar mamnoon farmaeeN.

baaqee Hadd-e-adab!
Muz^affar
« آخری ترمیم: ستمبر 18, 2007, 10:22:49 صبح منجانب Muzaffar Ahmad Muzaffar »
dil kee waaraftaGee kaa sabab kuch bhee ho
Is bahaaneY chalo ham ThikaaneY lageY!
Muzaffar A Muzaffar
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www.dastak-urduduniya.com

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Re: Ek Zameen, Teen Shaa,i'r: "Ghalib", "Dagh" aur "Amir" Minai
« Reply #2 بروز: ستمبر 18, 2007, 01:26:14 شام »

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Re: Ek Zameen, Teen Shaa,i'r: "Ghalib", "Dagh" aur "Amir" Minai
« Reply #3 بروز: ستمبر 18, 2007, 01:27:56 شام »

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Re: Ek Zameen, Teen Shaa,i'r: "Ghalib", "Dagh" aur "Amir" Minai
« Reply #4 بروز: ستمبر 18, 2007, 01:29:21 شام »

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Re: Ek Zameen, Teen Shaa,i'r: "Ghalib", "Dagh" aur "Amir" Minai
« Reply #5 بروز: ستمبر 18, 2007, 01:31:45 شام »

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Re: Ek Zameen, Teen Shaa,i'r: "Ghalib", "Dagh" aur "Amir" Minai
« Reply #6 بروز: ستمبر 18, 2007, 01:34:21 شام »

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Re: Ek Zameen, Teen Shaa,i'r: "Ghalib", "Dagh" aur "Amir" Minai
« Reply #7 بروز: ستمبر 18, 2007, 11:10:54 شام »
moHtaram Sarwar A'lam Raz Sarwar SaaHib aadaab! :)

Aek zameen teen shaae'ir "Ghalib", "Dagh" aur "Amir" Minai khub rahe lekin kiyaa hee achchaa hotaa keh aap kee jaanib se bhee aek numunah-e-Ghazal a't^aa hotaa. aap a'Sr-e-HaaZ^ir ke jaane maane naabGhah-e-rooZGaar haiN. aor fan-e-shaae'iree meN "yad-e-t^olaa" rakhte haiN. agar aap ke asha'aar bhee shaamil ho jate to tab chaar shaae'ir ho jate aor tab ham kuch faeSlah karte keh kaon behtar raha.

GharZ^ yeh zameen bohot mashhoor hoee. aor chand Ghaer ma'aroof shua'raa ne bhee is zameen meN khoob GhooRe daorae haiN. Ghazliyaat ke yeh numune dekh kar chand she'er mujh se bhee ho gae haiN. inshAllah jald hee pesh karooN gaa. tab tak aap ke asha'aar kaa shiddat se intez^aar rahe gaa. maiN taqaabulee fiZ^aa naheeN paedah karnaa chahtaa. lekin "har Gul-e-raa ranG-o-bu-e-deegar ast" ka naqshah dekhne kaa mutamannee Z^aroor hooN. deegar dost bhee t^aba' aazmaa kar mamnoon farmaeeN.

baaqee Hadd-e-adab!
Muz^affar

mukarram-e-bandah janaab Muzaffar SaaHeb: aadaab!

aap kaa Khat^ mere liYe Hairat kaa baa,ic huwaa. maiN to yeh soch bhee naheeN saktaa hooN keh "Ghalib, Dagh aur Amir Minai" ke saamne apnee Ghazal pesh karooN! nah maiN ustaad hooN aur nah hee koyee baRaa shaa,i'r. yooN aap kuchh bhee keh leN lekin maiN apnee Haqeeqat se Khoob waaqif hooN.

cheh nisbat Khaak raa baa a'alam-e-paak?

aap mujh ko :naabiGhah-e-rozgaar: qism ke alqaab de kar sharmindah nah kiyaa kareN. agar luGhat meN is lafz^ ke ma'nee dekh lete to hargiz mere liYe to kyaa aaj ke kisee bhee shaa,i'r ke liYe aap is ko ista'maal nah karte! Khudaa-raa yeh baateN ab chhoRiYe. mamnoon hooN gaa.

reh gayaa is zameen meN Ghazal kehnaa to woh har shaKhS kar saktaa hai. hameN aap kee Ghazal kaa intiz^aar rahe gaa. maiN bhee koshish karooN gaa, lekin ham sab kee GhazleN in asaatiZah ke muqaabileh meN naheeN bal.k in ke saayeh meN hee likhee jaanee chaahiyeN. yooN aap Khud ko mujh se behtar jaante haiN.

aaKhir meN a'rZ^ hai keh apne baare meN meraa bayaan kisee kasr-e-nafsee yaa taSanno' par mabnee naheeN hai bal.k iz^haar-e-Haqeeqat hai. aur kyaa a'rZ^ karooN!

Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"   



غیرحاضر Daanish

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Re: Ek Zameen, Teen Shaa,i'r: "Ghalib", "Dagh" aur "Amir" Minai
« Reply #8 بروز: ستمبر 18, 2007, 11:30:08 شام »
moHtaram Sarwar SaHeb
aadaab!
ek zameen meiN asaatiza ki ghazloN ko paRh kar bahut lutf aaya. chand roz qabl auraaq_gardaani ke dauraan DaaGh ke dewan  meiN unki yeh Ghazal nazar aayi aur ek shaayar dost se phone par is par guftgoo huwi. har shayr meiN unka rang nazar aata hai. Ameer Minai tau Ameer Minai haiN! kya kehne!
shukriyah
basad eHteraam
Khaaknasheen
Daanish
Zarqa behen se guzaarish hai ke 'daaGh' ki Ghazal ke shayr no. 9 meiN typo durust ker deN :
'mujhe kya ulaT na deta..'


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Re: Ek Zameen, Teen Shaa,i'r: "Ghalib", "Dagh" aur "Amir" Minai
« Reply #9 بروز: ستمبر 19, 2007, 12:11:22 صبح »
moHtaram Sarwar SaHeb
aadaab!
ek zameen meiN asaatiza ki ghazloN ko paRh kar bahut lutf aaya. chand roz qabl auraaq_gardaani ke dauraan DaaGh ke dewan  meiN unki yeh Ghazal nazar aayi aur ek shaayar dost se phone par is par guftgoo huwi. har shayr meiN unka rang nazar aata hai. Ameer Minai tau Ameer Minai haiN! kya kehne!
shukriyah
basad eHteraam
Khaaknasheen
Daanish
Zarqa behen se guzaarish hai ke 'daaGh' ki Ghazal ke shayr no. 9 meiN typo durust ker deN :
'mujhe kya ulaT na deta..'
muHibbee Daanish SaaHeb: aadaab!

Khat^ ke liYe mamnoon hooN. ab nah woh kehne waale rahe aur nah woh qadrdaan!

dikhaataa hai raNg aasmaaN kaise kaise!

"Dagh" kaa she'r #9 Urdu meN SaHeeH likhaa hai lekin Roman meN Ghalat^ thaa (ab maiN ne durust kar diyaa hai!). yeh :typo: Zarqa kaa naheeN meraa thaa! yeh GhazleN :type: maiN ne hee kee theeN aur in kee tazyeen Zarqa ne kamaal-e-muHabbat se kar dee thee. she'r yooN hai:

gaYe hosh tere zaahid! jo woh chashm-e-mast dekhee
mujhe kyaa ulaT nah detee jo nah baadah-Khwaar hotaa?

:detee: kee z^ameer :chashm-e-mast: kee t^araf phirtee hai. so yahaaN :detaa: naheeN ho saktaa hai. maiN ne iHtiyaat^a" Munshi "Aah" SaaHeb kee kitaab se taSdeeq bhee kar lee hai.

kyaa aap bhee is zameen meN fikr kar rahe haiN?

Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"



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Re: Ek Zameen, Teen Shaa,i'r: "Ghalib", "Dagh" aur "Amir" Minai
« Reply #10 بروز: ستمبر 19, 2007, 12:30:48 صبح »
Mohtaram o makkaram janab SARWAR RAZ SaHeb!

aisay khazanay dhooNdh laanaa aor phir un ko is moHabbat se pesh karnaa aap ka hi khaaSa hai. mairi taraf se shukriyaa o daad qubool kijiaye.

issi zameeN meN ghalib ki kahi hoee ghazal ke saaht aik sher aor bhi sunaa thaa.

woh laHad meN boo-aye meN thi ke na aa sake farishtay
   meN ghazab meN paRh hi jaataa jo na baadaa khaar hotaa


sunaan-nay walay ne ye sher ghalib ki ghazal meN hi sunayaa thaa. jab ghaalib ki ye ghazal un ke deewaan meN paRhi to ye sher moojood naa thaa. meN ne sochaa ke kissi oar shaair ko hoga oar us waqt ghazal sunaane walay ko ghalati hoee ho gi.

yaa Hairat ke aaj aap ne is zameen meN teen ghazleN pesh kar di laikin ye sher phir bhi nazar na aayaa. kyaa aap is muamma se pardaa hataa kar maire tajassus ki aag bujhaanaa pasand kareN ge?

dono SoortoN meN mairaa peshgi shukriyaa qubool kijiaye.

khosh a cheeN
Muhammad K. Siddiqui
Muhammad K. Siddiqui
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938-C-Faisal Town, Lahore.
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+92 42 111516516
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------------------------------------------------------------
baat kehne ka DhaNg na aayaa
mujh pe duinyaa ka raNg na aayaa.

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Re: Ek Zameen, Teen Shaa,i'r: "Ghalib", "Dagh" aur "Amir" Minai
« Reply #11 بروز: ستمبر 19, 2007, 12:55:16 صبح »
Mohtaram o makkaram janab SARWAR RAZ SaHeb!

aisay khazanay dhooNdh laanaa aor phir un ko is moHabbat se pesh karnaa aap ka hi khaaSa hai. mairi taraf se shukriyaa o daad qubool kijiaye.

issi zameeN meN ghalib ki kahi hoee ghazal ke saaht aik sher aor bhi sunaa thaa.

woh laHad meN boo-aye meN thi ke na aa sake farishtay
   meN ghazab meN paRh hi jaataa jo na baadaa khaar hotaa


sunaan-nay walay ne ye sher ghalib ki ghazal meN hi sunayaa thaa. jab ghaalib ki ye ghazal un ke deewaan meN paRhi to ye sher moojood naa thaa. meN ne sochaa ke kissi oar shaair ko hoga oar us waqt ghazal sunaane walay ko ghalati hoee ho gi.

yaa Hairat ke aaj aap ne is zameen meN teen ghazleN pesh kar di laikin ye sher phir bhi nazar na aayaa. kyaa aap is muamma se pardaa hataa kar maire tajassus ki aag bujhaanaa pasand kareN ge?

dono SoortoN meN mairaa peshgi shukriyaa qubool kijiaye.

khosh a cheeN
Muhammad K. Siddiqui
muHibbee Khaawar SaaHeb: aadaab!

aap kee muHabbat kaa shukriyah. maiN ne Ghalib kee Ghazal pooree kee pooree "Aah" SaaHeb kee kitaab se naql kar dee thee. ab aap ke kehne par Ghalib ke do deewaan aur dekhe jin meN se ek bohat mo'tabar hai (Deewaan-e-Ghalib Kaamil: Kali Das Gupta "Razaa"). lekin aap kaa diyaa huwaa she'r kaheeN naheeN milaa. is kaa mat^lab yeh hai keh woh she'r ja'lee hai!

Ghalib ke saath aise waaqi,a'at kayee baar huwe the. aap ne sunaa ho gaa keh woh pehle :Asad: taKhalluS karte the. ek din kisee dost ne unheN yeh she'r sunaayaa:

"Asad" is jafaa par butoN se wafaa kee
mire sher shaabaash! reHmat Khudaa kee!

aur poochhaa keh :kyaa yeh aap kaa hee hai:? Mirza Nausha ne kahaa keh :SaaHeb! jis kaa yeh she'r hai us par Allah kee reHmat ho. aur agar yeh meraa hai to mujh par la'nat:! is ke ba'd :Ghalib: taKhalluS iKhtiyaar kiyaa.

"Aasee" Lucknawi ne to Ghalib kee bohat see GhazleN :daryaaft: kee theeN jo kaheeN aur naheeN miltee haiN. un ke baare meN mash,hoor hai keh jab koyee un se miltaa to poochhtaa keh :Maulana! Ghalib ne koyee nayee Ghazal kahee hai kyaa:?

Maulve Ibrahim Khalil aur Ghalib kee :April Fool Ghazal: kaa qiSSah maiN sunaa hee chukaa hooN! ummeed hai keh aap kee tashaffee ho gayee ho gee.

Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"



غیرحاضر Muzaffar Ahmad Muzaffar

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Re: Ek Zameen, Teen Shaa,i'r: "Ghalib", "Dagh" aur "Amir" Minai
« Reply #12 بروز: ستمبر 19, 2007, 06:12:34 صبح »
moHtaram Sarwar A'lam Raz Sarwar SaaHib aadaab! :)

Aek zameen teen shaae'ir "Ghalib", "Dagh" aur "Amir" Minai khub rahe lekin kiyaa hee achchaa hotaa keh aap kee jaanib se bhee aek numunah-e-Ghazal a't^aa hotaa. aap a'Sr-e-HaaZ^ir ke jaane maane naabGhah-e-rooZGaar haiN. aor fan-e-shaae'iree meN "yad-e-t^olaa" rakhte haiN. agar aap ke asha'aar bhee shaamil ho jate to tab chaar shaae'ir ho jate aor tab ham kuch faeSlah karte keh kaon behtar raha.

GharZ^ yeh zameen bohot mashhoor hoee. aor chand Ghaer ma'aroof shua'raa ne bhee is zameen meN khoob GhooRe daorae haiN. Ghazliyaat ke yeh numune dekh kar chand she'er mujh se bhee ho gae haiN. inshAllah jald hee pesh karooN gaa. tab tak aap ke asha'aar kaa shiddat se intez^aar rahe gaa. maiN taqaabulee fiZ^aa naheeN paedah karnaa chahtaa. lekin "har Gul-e-raa ranG-o-bu-e-deegar ast" ka naqshah dekhne kaa mutamannee Z^aroor hooN. deegar dost bhee t^aba' aazmaa kar mamnoon farmaeeN.

baaqee Hadd-e-adab!
Muz^affar

mukarram-e-bandah janaab Muzaffar SaaHeb: aadaab!

aap kaa Khat^ mere liYe Hairat kaa baa,ic huwaa. maiN to yeh soch bhee naheeN saktaa hooN keh "Ghalib, Dagh aur Amir Minai" ke saamne apnee Ghazal pesh karooN! nah maiN ustaad hooN aur nah hee koyee baRaa shaa,i'r. yooN aap kuchh bhee keh leN lekin maiN apnee Haqeeqat se Khoob waaqif hooN.

cheh nisbat Khaak raa baa a'alam-e-paak?

aap mujh ko :naabiGhah-e-rozgaar: qism ke alqaab de kar sharmindah nah kiyaa kareN. agar luGhat meN is lafz^ ke ma'nee dekh lete to hargiz mere liYe to kyaa aaj ke kisee bhee shaa,i'r ke liYe aap is ko ista'maal nah karte! Khudaa-raa yeh baateN ab chhoRiYe. mamnoon hooN gaa.

reh gayaa is zameen meN Ghazal kehnaa to woh har shaKhS kar saktaa hai. hameN aap kee Ghazal kaa intiz^aar rahe gaa. maiN bhee koshish karooN gaa, lekin ham sab kee GhazleN in asaatiZah ke muqaabileh meN naheeN bal.k in ke saayeh meN hee likhee jaanee chaahiyeN. yooN aap Khud ko mujh se behtar jaante haiN.

aaKhir meN a'rZ^ hai keh apne baare meN meraa bayaan kisee kasr-e-nafsee yaa taSanno' par mabnee naheeN hai bal.k iz^haar-e-Haqeeqat hai. aur kyaa a'rZ^ karooN!

Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"   

moHtaram Sarwar A'lam Raz Sarwar SaaHib aadaab!

Aap kaa khat^ khaadim ke liye maojab-e-dil kharashee huwaa aor tamaam din udaasee kaa baae'ic rahaa.

اقتباس
aap kaa Khat^ mere liYe Hairat kaa baa,ic huwaa. maiN to yeh soch bhee naheeN saktaa hooN keh "Ghalib, Dagh aur Amir Minai" ke saamne apnee Ghazal pesh karooN! nah maiN ustaad hooN aur nah hee koyee baRaa shaa,i'r. yooN aap kuchh bhee keh leN lekin maiN apnee Haqeeqat se Khoob waaqif hooN.


Qiblah maiN ne yeh kab likhaa hai keh aap in "asaatizah" ke saamne (muqaabil) in kee GhazlooN par Ghazal kaheeN. haaN itnee khuwahish Z^aroor kee hai keh is Zameen meN aap apne asha'aar a't^aa kareeN. aor saath yeh bhee likhaa keh "maiN taqaabulee fiZ^aa naheeN paedah karnaa chahtaa. lekin "har Gul-e-raa ranG-o-bu-e-deegar ast" ka naqshah dekhne kaa mutamannee Z^aroor hooN"

Is meN koee Ghaer munasib baat nah thee. mazkoorah baala asaatizah kee ustaadee apnee jagah maiN aap ke paristaarooN meN se hooN aor "kisee bhee t^arH aap ko in jumlah afraad se kam kheyaal naheeN kartaa"  mujhe is meN koee baak naheeN. Zindagee chalte rehne kaa naam hai. maaZ^ee ke fankaarooN se istefaadah Z^arooree hai. lekin is kaa harGiz yeh mat^lab naheeN keh ham she'er-o-sukhan kaa safar un tak hee meHdood kar leeN. kiyaa Ghalib ke ba'd koee shaae'ir naheeN huwaa. kiyaa is mafrooZ^ah ka munh TooR jawaab Iqbal ne apne fan se naheeN diyaa. kaon jaantaa thaa keh Ghalib ke ba'd "Siyalkot" Pakistan meN aek aesaa shaae'ir paedah ho gaa jo urdu shaae'iree ke jism meN nae'ee rooH bhoonk de gaa.

jis ke nateeje meN Ghalib kaa be naz^eer takhaluul aor niraala andaz-e-bayaaN az sar-e-nao woojood meN aae gaa. Iqbal hee kee wajah se urdu-o-faarsee kalam kaa sikkah Hindustan bhar ke i'lawah faranGGistaan meN rehne wale faranGeeioN ke dilooN meN bhee baeThaa huwaa hai. Ghalib ko urdu aor farasee shae'eree se jo i'shq thaa us ne un kee rooH ko "a'dam" meN jaa kar bhee cheen nah lene diya. aor gaoyaa majboor kiya keh woh kisee aor ke jism-e-khaakee meN jalwah afrooz ho kar Gulsitaan-e-she'er kee aabyaaree kere. hunooz yeh a'mal jaaree hai yeh silsilah khatam hone waala naheeN. Ghalib ke ba'd beesiyooN aese maahir-e-fan paedah hote rahe jin kaa naam lekhna yahaN Z^aruree naheeN jin ke kalam meN Ghalib-o-Mir kaa partao Saaf dikhaee detaa hai. aor woh bhee haiN jinhooN ne apnaa alaG usloob-e-she'er ikhteyaar kiyaa aor khud Ghaalib kee Zindagee meN hee Ghalib se daad HaaSil kee. maiN zaatee t^aor par kae'ee aese shaae'rooN ko jaantaa hoN keh un ke aage Ghalib kee ba'Z^ GhazleeN jo unhooN ne Ghalib kee t^arH meN kaheN aor jo apnee haiyat aor ma'nee aafreenee meN zeyadah buland ho gaeeN haiN. aor aese looG gaoshah-e-Gumnamee meN baRe haiN. Sad Haef! keh aaj kaa ustaad nah to shaagird ko shaagird samajhtaa hai. aor nah hee khud ko ustaad tasleem karne ko tayyaar hai. haaYe re urdu walo! rote raho ustadooN ko yaad kar ke!

hamaraa almiyah yeh hai keh ham mare huwooN ko rote haiN. yeh kehnaa be jaa nah ho gaa keh ham murdah parast haiN. zindooN kee a'z^mat ke aage sar-e-tasleem kham karnaa hamaree shaan ke khilaaf hai. maiN yeh baat yaqeen se keh saktaa hooN keh agar Mirza Ghalib is dor meN baqaed-e-Hayaat hote to ham un kee a'z^mat ke tarane gaane ke bajae "Bedal" "Mir" yaa "wali Dakni" ko aQleem-e-sukhan kaa aakhree taajdaar samajh rahe hote. aor Ghalib kee a'z^mat kaa aa'teraaf nah karte. is liye keh woh to abhee maojood haiN. hamaraa almiyah yeh bhee hai keh ham kisee aek purane shaae'ir ko intehaaee Ghaer ma'mulee shakhSiyat samajh kar us meN a'z^matooN ke koh-e-t^oor talaash karne lagte haiN. aor ba'Z^ aoqaat to us kee Ghaer danistah Ghalat^ee ko rawaj dene kee daanistah koshish karne lagte haiN. aor istadlaal kee rah meN pardah pushee kee Had tak us ke difa' kee fikr bhee karne lagte haiN. macaal ke t^aor par Ghalib ko hee lete haiN. agar Ghalib Ghaer ma'mulee aosaaf ke maalik hote to un ke kalam meN chaar paanch ba'd ke shaae'irooN kaa makhSooS andaaz-e-Ghazal gaoee numaiyaaN hotaa. to kiyaa wajah hai keh un ke kalam meN hameeN :Fani: kaa falsafah-e-Gham :Hasrat: kaa mushaahidah-e-Zindagee :Yaganah: kee Had se baRhee huee ananiyat :Jigar: kaa ranG-e-taGhazzul aor :ASGhar: kaa mutaSawwufanah jalal-o-jamaal naheeN miltaa? GharZ^ Ghalib ko maedaan-e-sukhan ke in shehsawaarooN se alag munfarid aor numayaaN muqaam denaa dusust naheeN. balkeh deegar se zeyaadatee ke masaawee hai.

Agar ham murdah parast nah hote to "MuSHefee" "Mir" "Ghalib" waGhaera apnee laachaargee Ghurbat aor "faqah mastee" kaa naoHah nah kehte. "Mir" apnee tanGdastee aor zamane kee be niyaazee kee badaolat "maraZ^-e-junoon" kaa shikaar ho kar wofoor-e-dard-o-alam se khoon kee ulTiyaaN nah karte. aor do waqt kee roTee ke liye apne saotele mamooN Khaan Aarzu ke dast-e-nagar nah hote.

Aaj ke daor meN bhee adeebooN aor daanishwarooN se Hukumat kaa sulooq muweshiyooN (gaae bheNsooN wala) kee t^arH hai. SaaGhar SadeeQee ke paas sewaae aek Chaae kee ketlee aor aek a'dad boseedah kambal ke kiyaa thaa? Charas ke aek kash ke badlah film saaz das das Geet likhwaate. Shakeb Jilalee ne Haalaat kee aaNkh macholee se tang aakar apne liye khud khushee ko tajweez kiya. ustad Qamar Ajnalawi Saai'kaleeN murammat kar ke peT palte rahe. Muneer Niyazee marHoom saaree zindagee koRee koRee ke moHtaaj rahe. barishooN ke maosam meN ghar meN paanee bhar aataa. aor ma'mulaat-e-zingadee dobhar ho jate. dawaee daru ke liye bhee paesah nah thaa. GharZ^ khansee kee dawaa tak khareedne ke liye ehl-e-muHallah ke minnat pazeer rehte.... GharZ^ unhooN ne inhee Halat meN daae'ee-e-ajal ko labbek kaha.

اقتباس
aap mujh ko :naabiGhah-e-rozgaar: qism ke alqaab de kar sharmindah nah kiyaa kareN. agar luGhat meN is lafz^ ke ma'nee dekh lete to hargiz mere liYe to kyaa aaj ke kisee bhee shaa,i'r ke liYe aap is ko ista'maal nah karte! Khudaa-raa yeh baateN ab chhoRiYe. mamnoon hooN gaa.


Theek hai inshAllah ab aap ko "naabGha-e-roozgaar" aese alqaab de kar sharmindah nah kiyaa jae gaa. balkeh Haqeeqat to yeh hai keh sharmindah to maiN khud ho geyaa hooN. maiN ne luGhat meN is lafz^ ke ma'anee baarha dekhe haiN. aap kee baat se to yeh lag raha hai keh maiN alfaaz^ ke ma'nee se aashna naheeN hooN aor  bila teHqeeq in kaa istema'aal kartaa phirtaa hooN.

Aap ke qareen-e-qiyaas to aaj ke kisee shaae'ir par is lafz^ kaa it^laaq naheeN hotaa. ya'nee aap kisee ko bhee "naabGhah-e-roozgaar" naheeN samajhte afsoos kaa muqaam hai. yeh kheyaal nah Sirf khaam hai. balkeh khud apnee SalaHiyatooN se naa Aashnaaee kee daleel hai. agar aap aesaa samajhte hain to kiyaa khaadim bhee aesaa samajh le hargiz naheeN. maiN har us fanpare kee a'zmat ka mua'tarif hooN jis se fankaar kee a'zmat kaa pata miltaa ho. aesaa fan parah aek naomashq bhee takhleeq kar saktaa hai. kiyaa asaatizah kee haaN ramooz-e-shae'eree kee buniyaadee aGhlaat^ naheeN milteeN.

maiN yeh a'rZ^ karnee chahataa hooN keh jab aesaa kaha jataa hai keh :ab woh looG naheeN rahe: :woh ustaad loog the: :un kee kiyaa baat thee: :ab woh looG kahaN: aesee bateeN sakht mayoos kun aor a'ashiqaan-e-urdu ke liye sakht dilshikknee kaa maojab bantee haiN......aesaa har giz naheeN kehnaa chahiye. afsoos naak baat yeh hai keh aesaa Sirf urdu wale hee kehte haiN. maiN 7/8 zabanooN bool letaa hooN. meraa zatee tajribah hai keh aesaa sirf urdu wale hee kehte haiN dusree zabanooN wale is mafrooZ^e ke qareeb bhee naheeN bhatakte. hameeN chahiye keh ham nae'e daor ke taqaZ^ooN ko khaat^ir nishaan rakheeN. aaj adab meN "saakhtiyaat pas-e-saakhtiyaat" kee beHceeN ho rahee haiN aaj kaa urdu daan aor naqqaad urdu ko "jadeediyaat maa ba'd jadidiyaat" ke tanaz^ur meN dekh raha hai. aakhir zamanh kab tak maolana Alt^aaf Husain Haali ke :muqaddah-e-she'-o-shaae'ree: meN hee urdu ke nae'ee jihtooN ko talaash kartaa rahe gaa. adabee naz^ariyah saazee kee na'ee raheeN khul rahee haiN. kiyaa wajah hai keh Sikandar ke ustaad Arast^u ne she'er kee jo ta'reef kee thee a'rabooN ne use tasleem naheeN kiyaa.

HuZ^oor aap urdu walooN se mayoos haiN ham to naheeN qadam qadam par SaaHib-e-usloob shu'raa baeThe haiN. kitne haiN jo Goshah-e-Gumnaamee meN Haalat kee sitam z^areefee se sipar andaaz ho kar baeThe haiN. do do teen teen darjan she'eree majmua'ooN ke maalikaan ko aap kiyaa naam deN ge. kiyaa unheeN naomashq kaha jae. almiyah to yahee hai keh Ghalib bhee apne se pehle walooN ko hee rote haiN. aor kehte haiN.

t^arz-e-"Bedal" meN reekhtah kehna
Asad Ullah KhaN qiyamat hai!

"Ameer" kee yeh donooN GhazleeN kis paayah kee haiN yeh baat adab kaa aek a'aam qaaree bhee jaantaa hai. yahee donooN GhazleeN agar koee "naowaarid" inheeN apnee keh kar :Urduanjuman" kee :Thread: par lagataa to sab se pehle aap hee kam az kam do darjan Gunjaei'sheeN nikaal dete. aor shaayad Ghazal dobarah kehne kaa mashwarah bhee dete. aap Sirf is liye khaamosh haiN keh SaaHib yeh "Ameer" kee Ghazal hai. jo ustaad huwe haiN kiyaa faedah? baat karne kaa kaon tasleem kare gaa?

HuZ^oor woh ustaad rahe hooN ge. maan lete haiN. lekin Qiblah woh hamare to ustaad naheeN rahe naa.....!! hameeN un kee pardah poshee karne kee kiyooN Z^arurat pesh aane lage. haaN yeh bhee to mumkin hai keh "Ameer" ne yeh GhazaleeN 12/13 saal kee u'mr meN kahee hoN. aor is u'mr meN aesee hee GhazlooN kee tawaqqa' kee jaa saktee hai. taaj-e-ustaadee pehen kar to naheeN kee jaa sakee. lekin ham kiyooN baat kareeN jee hameeN to aaj ke shaae'ir kee naa ehlee kaa maatam karnaa hai. maaZ^ee kaa to har she'er ustaad kehlataa hai. aor aaj kaa har ustaad jaahil aor naaehel hai. aor kitne afsoos kee baat hai keh aaj koee apnee baRaaee yaa a'zmat tasleem karne ko bhee tayyaar naheeN. aor purkhulooS alqaab ko bae'ic-e-nadamat samajhtaa hai. Allah jaane ham eHsas-e-kamtaree kee is z^ulmat se kab bahir aaeeN ge. aor kab aaj ke SaaHibaan-e-fan par fakhr kareeN ge.

GharZ^ apne tae'eeN kasr-e-nafsee to Theek hai lekin apnee janib se har khaS-o-a'aam ko is kee lapeT meN laana a'Sr-e-HaaZ^ir ke moa'tabar SaaHibaan-e-qalab ke saath zeyaadatee se te'beer kiyaa jane ke laae'iq hai.

اقتباس
reh gayaa is zameen meN Ghazal kehnaa to woh har shaKhS kar saktaa hai. hameN aap kee Ghazal kaa intiz^aar rahe gaa. maiN bhee koshish karooN gaa, lekin ham sab kee GhazleN in asaatiZah ke muqaabileh meN naheeN bal.k in ke saayeh meN hee likhee jaanee chaahiyeN.


jee maiN bhee isee maslik kaa qaai'l hooN.

اقتباس
yooN aap Khud ko mujh se behtar jaante haiN.

yeh baat aap ne kis buniyaad par likhee hai??? meraa to aesaa koee kheyaal naheeN. aor honaa bhee naheeN chahiye.

Aap kaa jo uslob hai woh aap kaa hee hai. dusraa use ikhteyaar kar ke naheeN chal saktaa. isee t^arH deegar dostooN kaa bhee apna apna andaaz-e-bayaN hai. khud ko kisee se behtar samajhne kaa to sawaal paedah hee naheeN hotaa. is liye keh "har keh aamad e'marat-e-nao saakht" har shakhS kee apnee e'marat hai. lehazah aesaa soochnaa keh maiN khudaa na khuwaastah khud ko aap yaa kisee se bhee behtar samajhtaa hooN. zehen kee khaam kheyaalee se baRh kar kuch bhee naheeN.

khat^ t^uweel ho geyaa hai is liye mua'zrat chahtaa hooN.
Allah aap ko khush rakhe!

Note: is khat^ kaa jawaab likhnaa laazamee naheeN hai.

wassalam
Muzaffar









« آخری ترمیم: ستمبر 19, 2007, 03:46:54 شام منجانب Muzaffar Ahmad Muzaffar »
dil kee waaraftaGee kaa sabab kuch bhee ho
Is bahaaneY chalo ham ThikaaneY lageY!
Muzaffar A Muzaffar
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غیرحاضر محمد خاور

  • Muhammad K. Siddiqui
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Re: Ek Zameen, Teen Shaa,i'r: "Ghalib", "Dagh" aur "Amir" Minai
« Reply #13 بروز: ستمبر 19, 2007, 09:53:52 صبح »
Mohtaram o mukarram Janab SARWAR RAZ SaHeb

maire pichlay sawaal ka jawab daine par dilli shukriyaa qubool kijiaye. inheeN ghazaliat ke mut'alliq aik do aor sawaalaat bhi zehn meN aa rahay heN. aap ki mushafqaana t^biat ki HoSlaa afazai par poochne ki jissarat kar rahaa hooN.

1. Ghalib likhte heN.

tiree naazukee se jaanaa keh baNdhaa thaa e'hd boodaa
kabhee to nah toR saktaa agar ustawaar hotaa


aap jaante hi heN ke maire ashaar meN t'aaqeed e lafzi 'unSar bohat zydaa hai aor meN ussi par kaam kar rahaa hooN. to kyaa doosre miSra ki ye shakal zydaa behtar naheeN hai.

tu kabhee na toR saktaa agar ustawaar hotaa

2. ghalib ka hi aek sher hai

koyee mere dil se poochhe tire teer-e-neemkash ko
yeh Khalish kahaaN se hotee jo jigar ke paar hotaa?


yeh khalish kahaaN se hotee ye khalish ka kahaaN se honaa kyaa kuch 'ajeeb urdu naheeN hail

3. use kaun dekh saktaa keh yagaanah hai woh yaktaa
jo du,ee kee boo bhee hotee to kaheeN do-chaar hotaa!


kyaa is sher meN saktaa ka istemaal bilkul theek hai.

4. Hazrat ameer meenai ka ye sher,

tiraa maikadah salaamat, tire Khum kee Khair saaqee!
mira nashshah kyoN utartaa mujhe kyoN Khumaar hotaa?


lafz nashah ko nashshah paRhna paRh rahaa hai. kyaa ye jaaiz thaa/hai?

5. mire ittiqaa kaa baa,ic to hai meree naa-tawaanee
jo maiN taubah toR saktaa to sharaab-Khwaar hotaa!


ye sharab khwaar kyaa iStalaaH hoee? shaarab arabi ka lafz hai oar khawaar faarsi ka.

6. ameer meenai ka hi aek oar sher,

rahee aarzoo keh do-do tire teer saath chalte
koyee dil ko pyaar kartaa, koyee dil ke paar hotaa


kyaa ham keh sakte heN ke pehlay miSra meN t'aqeed e lafzi hai?

7. ye kyaa sher huwaa?

mire phooloN meN jo aate to naYe woh gul khilaate
keh kalaa,iyoN meN gajre to gale meN haar hotaa


aap ka shukrguzaar,
Muhammad K. Siddiqui.
Muhammad K. Siddiqui
+92 321 4435273

938-C-Faisal Town, Lahore.
Pakistan.
+92 42 111516516
muhammad_19k@hotmail.com


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mujh pe duinyaa ka raNg na aayaa.

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    • Kalam-e-Sarwar
Re: Ek Zameen, Teen Shaa,i'r: "Ghalib", "Dagh" aur "Amir" Minai
« Reply #14 بروز: ستمبر 19, 2007, 02:46:00 شام »
Mohtaram o mukarram Janab SARWAR RAZ SaHeb

maire pichlay sawaal ka jawab daine par dilli shukriyaa qubool kijiaye. inheeN ghazaliat ke mut'alliq aik do aor sawaalaat bhi zehn meN aa rahay heN. aap ki mushafqaana t^biat ki HoSlaa afazai par poochne ki jissarat kar rahaa hooN.

janaab-e-Khaawar SaaHeb: aadaab!

shukriyah. yeh :jasaarat: i'lm kee pyaas kee daleel hai! maiN apne i'lm kee Had tak jawaab dene kee koshish kartaa hooN.

اقتباس
1. Ghalib likhte heN.

tiree naazukee se jaanaa keh baNdhaa thaa e'hd boodaa
kabhee to nah toR saktaa agar ustawaar hotaa


aap jaante hi heN ke maire ashaar meN t'aaqeed e lafzi 'unSar bohat zydaa hai aor meN ussi par kaam kar rahaa hooN. to kyaa doosre miSra ki ye shakal zydaa behtar naheeN hai.

tu kabhee na toR saktaa agar ustawaar hotaa

Ghalib kaa miSra' hai:

kabhee too nah toR saktaa--------

is meN koyee ta'qeed naheeN hai aur har lafz^ SaHeeH adaa ho rahaa hai. aap kee tajweez yeh hai:

tu kabhee nah toR saktaa------------------

is meN :too: kee waw dabaa kar :tu: kehnaa paRtaa hai. is liYe yeh yaqeena" behtar naheeN hai.

اقتباس
2. ghalib ka hi aek sher hai

koyee mere dil se poochhe tire teer-e-neemkash ko
yeh Khalish kahaaN se hotee jo jigar ke paar hotaa?


yeh khalish kahaaN se hotee ye khalish ka kahaaN se honaa kyaa kuch 'ajeeb urdu naheeN hail

a'jeeb? bhaayee! yeh to b.ilkul SaHeeH aur baa-muHaawirah Urdu hai! Khudaa jaane aap ko yeh Khayaal kyoN huwaa. is kee micaaleN to be-shumaar mil jaaYeN gee.

اقتباس
3. use kaun dekh saktaa keh yagaanah hai woh yaktaa
jo du,ee kee boo bhee hotee to kaheeN do-chaar hotaa!


kyaa is sher meN saktaa ka istemaal bilkul theek hai.

yaqeena"! :saktaa: ke ba'd :hai: maKhfee hai aur Z^arooat-e-she'ree ke taqaaZ^eh se aisaa karnaa a'am aur mut^laq qaabil-e-qubool hai. aap kitaabeN dekh leN.

اقتباس
4. Hazrat ameer meenai ka ye sher,

tiraa maikadah salaamat, tire Khum kee Khair saaqee!
mira nashshah kyoN utartaa mujhe kyoN Khumaar hotaa?


lafz nashah ko nashshah paRhna paRh rahaa hai. kyaa ye jaaiz thaa/hai?

jee yaqeena"! :nashah: (sheen par zabar) aur :nashshah: (sheen par tashdeed) donoN talaffuz^ jaa,iz aur musta'mil haiN jaise :umeed: aur :ummeed:!

اقتباس
5. mire ittiqaa kaa baa,ic to hai meree naa-tawaanee
jo maiN taubah toR saktaa to sharaab-Khwaar hotaa!


ye sharab khwaar kyaa iStalaaH hoee? shaarab arabi ka lafz hai oar khawaar faarsi ka.

Arabee aur Farsee alfaaz^ kee tarkeeb is t^areeqeh se banaanaa b.ilkul SaHeeH aur jaa,iz hai. is kee bhee be-shumaar micaaleN mil jaaYeN gee. jin taraakeeb par kabhee kabhee log sawaal yaa e'tiraaZ^ karte haiN woh Arabee/Farsee aur Hindi/Hindustaanee alfaaz^ kee hotee haiN. in kee micaaleN bhee miltee haiN lekin :aaTe meN namak ke baraabar:!

اقتباس
6. ameer meenai ka hi aek oar sher,

rahee aarzoo keh do-do tire teer saath chalte
koyee dil ko pyaar kartaa, koyee dil ke paar hotaa


kyaa ham keh sakte heN ke pehlay miSra meN t'aqeed e lafzi hai?

meraa Khayaal hai keh aap ta'qeed kaa mat^lab Ghalat^ samajh baiThe haiN. shaa,i'ree meN alfaaz^ kee tarteeb hameshah fit^ree naheeN rakhee jaa saktee hai, bal.k akcar alfaaz^ kee :ulaT-pher: wazn aur rawaanee aur beHr ke liYe naa-guzeer hotee hai. jab yeh tarteeb Had se baRh jaaYe aur paRhne aur samajhne meN mushkil paidaa kare to us ko :ta'qeed: kehte haiN. "Amir" ke she'r ko is raushanee meN dekheN ge to ta'qeed naheeN naz^ar aaYe gee. aur agar aisaa naheeN kareN ge to Khud aap ke be-shumaar ash,a'ar is naqS ke Haamil nikleN ge!

اقتباس
7. ye kyaa sher huwaa?

mire phooloN meN jo aate to naYe woh gul khilaate
keh kalaa,iyoN meN gajre to gale meN haar hotaa


aap ka shukrguzaar,
Muhammad K. Siddiqui.

meraa Khayaal hai keh "Amir" Minai kee yeh pooree Ghazal hee kaafee kamzor hai. woh bohat ziyaadah kehte the aur jo ziyaadah aur jaldee kahe gaa us ke yahaaN kamzoree kaa naz^ar aanaa yaqeenee hai. yeh she'r is Ghazal kaa bohat hee kamzor aur :phusphusaa: she'r hai. aisee naa-hamwaaree sabhee ke kalaam meN miltee hai. z^aahir hai keh shaa,i'r kaa har she'r aur har Ghazal ek hee paayeh kee naheeN ho saktee hai.

kyaa "Mir" aur kyaa "Ghalib", kyaa "Iqbal" aur kyaa "Fani", sabhee ke yahaa kuchh kamzor kalaam mil jaaYe gaa. lekin un kaa maqaam (yaa aap kaa aur meraa maqaam) ek she'r yaa ek aadh Ghazal par mabnee naheeN hotaa hai. agar yooN hotaa to Iqbal kee Ghazaliyah shaa,i'ree ke pesh-e-naz^ar woh nihaayat ma'moolee shaa,i'r kehlaate aur un kee :Z^areefaanah: shaa,i'ree ko dekhiYe to b.ilkul :gaYe-beete: kehlaate!

maiN yeh naheeN keh rahaa hooN keh aap ne aisaa kahaa hai! Sirf aap ke sawaal par chand Z^imnee baateN mazeed likh rahaa hooN.

ek baar phir Khat^ kaa shukriyah!

Sarwar A. Raz "Sarwar"



 

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